late night 2 am blog post

hi friends, it's been so long i know. i have a lot on my plate, and a lot has changed since my last post.

people change, feelings change, and yet it all stays the same.

as i am rapidly approaching my graduation day i am mixed with feelings of fear and excitement.

i am scared of what lies ahead, friends. what will college be like. will i make a name for myself. will i make friends. will live out the plan the Lord has set out for me. will i lose contact with my friends i currently have today.

and then at the same time i am excited, i'll be in a new town, i'll have a new life, i'll be working towards my career, i have yet to experience so much of life.

one of the things i fear the most right now is leaving my sweet home and going somewhere that is completely different and new to me. i've never known another town that isn't my sweet st cloud. (heh sweet st cloud didn't see that one coming) i just.. i'm filled with such..anxiety i suppose that i don't even know what to feel.

luckily i know my sweet Savior knows what i am set out to do in life. there is so much of the world i want to see. so many people and needs that i want to reach.

{Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like You have loved me
Break my heart for what breaks Yours
Everything I am for Your Kingdom's cause}

words that i find myself conflicted with at 230 am. break my heart for what breaks yours..always afraid to ask my God to do that because i know that it'll mean a whole other chapter in my life to prepare for and see lay out. 

i want to kind of jump back to the graduation part.. i ran across a song tonight that i haven't heard in years. it's called "graduation" by vitamin c...goodness the last time i heard that song i was, i believe, in 7th grade.. i remember thinking that one day that would be me. and now it is. may will come so quickly.. i want to remember this last year with a smile. i want to make sure i did things right, i lived my senior year right.. so many thoughts friends. 

xoxo